Dieting Woes

Walking around as a fat person, all day long, is like having someone constantly criticizing you every 15 minutes, then you realize the person who is criticizing you is yourself, but you can't stop. Like so many other people, I have been on every diet there is, I have lost a lot of weight on several programs, even getting to my goal weight several times. I feel like as soon as I get to my goal weight, something takes over my mind, some evil spirit or something, and then before I know it, and before I even really get to enjoy my new skinny body, I am right back up to my starting weight all over again. I ask myself how many times can I do this, before I just either finally get it right or just give up all together. Right now I am at the just give up all together point.

Everyday, I have this mantra running in my head, your arms are too fat, your butt keeps getting bigger, all the cute clothes you love will never look good on you, but then all of this does not stop me from wanting to eat stuff I know is not healthy for me.

Some people think fat people are just lazy or weak. I am actually not lazy at all, and do not consider myself weak. I just think in the country we live in, food is everywhere you are, and it has become part of our landscape. Imagine going to a baseball game, and everywhere you are food surrounds you, you go to a movie, and no matter how ridiculous the price of popcorn becomes, you still can't think of seeing a movie without popcorn. I am a very social person, I have a lot of friends and family, so of course, have you ever been to a party that did not serve food. For some people that do not have a food issue, they might not constantly see the world this way, but if you already have a problem, with overeating, and then you are always surrounded by food, it makes it really difficult to say no. I swear this to be true, days I am trying to stay on a diet, are always longer than a day when I am not watching what I eat. Kind of like how workdays are so much longer than weekend days.

Here is another thing that inevitably happens when you do lose weight, all your friends are happy for you, but they are even happier when you gain it back, because it makes them feel less bad about themselves. How many people secretly watch Oprah, week to week, to see if she is thin Oprah or a little heavier Oprah. I think to myself if Oprah, can't even keep it off, with having a private chef, a personal trainer, and everything else she could possibly need to keep it off, than my struggle with weight makes me not feel as bad about myself. Then there are many overweight people out there that say they like who they are, and do not want to lose weight. To them I say you are a liar, no one likes being overweight, if there was a magical pill, every single fat person would be lined up, as if they were giving away free playstation 3's.